Ad-dendum

On a sidenote, it occurs to me that iPods might be a little racist. The bright whiteness of the machines looks very nice, and accurately characterizes the majority of the iPod clientele. But why do I think iPods look nice? When I gaze into my iPod's gleaming alabaster, am I enamored by its simple, clean angles or captivated by a pervading sense of my own whiteness? I glance away, horrified. Am I racist?

I don't think I am. But maybe Apple is. And to apologize for making all those bright, white iPods, Apple has overcompensated by making everyone in the iPod ads black.

I don't object to this at all. Black people are much cooler than white people, and if iPods are cool, then these commercials rock!

But just for fun, I attempted a series of iPod poses which I thought embodied a nerdy white girl's answer to three particular iPod ad moves. I made sure to wear my matching T-shirt and a big, wide smile.

My ad campaign wouldn't sell a single iPod. In fact, fellow iPod owners of all skin tones would be lining up to return theirs.

Now that Apple has set such a high precedent of coolness in its commercials, there is simply no hope for average, lazy, overweight citizens to break throuugh the neon light ceiling. At left is one of Apple's discarded sketches for the iPod's 2003 ad campaign, which will sadly never come to fruition on the big screen.

Back to The Rules

© 2004 Annie Barrett and Diminishing Returns

About Annie ................ Past Columns