Homophobic Bear

Homophobic Bear was ashamed of his naturally purple fur, so he slathered on some of his mom's self-tanner. Oh my god. Do you think that was gay?

Mission: To prove he's not fucking gay, damnit.

Special Features: Terror Bears SPF 15 I'm Not Gay Spray®, baseball cap, inherent alcoholism, unnecessarily macho attitude, 15-pound free weights, unlimited sports equipment.

Friends: Jock Bear, Porno Bear, Hot Women Bear, Chicks Bear, Boobs Bear, Jugs Bear, Pussy Bear, Did I Mention I Like Women Bear.

Customer Feedback: "I get the feeling Homophobic Bear might be gay." --Ty, age 7

Price: Are you crazy? Don't buy this bear. He's purple!