Stalker Bear

Stalker Bear knows everything about you, and you barely even know each other!

Mission: To relieve his or her own boredom.

Special Features: Night vision goggles, mini laptop computer, seven different screennames.

Friends: Creepy Bear, Friendster Bear, Google Bear, Password Bear, Hacker Bear.

Customer Feedback: "I like the way Stalker Bear's night vision goggles light up while he watches me sleep and takes notes on the notepad right under his belly." --Jamie, age 5

Price: Your privacy, identity, freedom, innocence. And what the hell, $29.99.